Jonesy: “I have not completely ruled out military action against Wayne.”

March 29. 2008
Reuster Wire Services.


In a surprising move, Jonesy addressed the media this morning and clarified that although he prefers diplomacy over military aggression towards the Empire Of Wayne... a full-scale assault stills remains an option. “I hope it doesn’t come to that, I truly don’t. But at the same time I can’t rule anything out. I’ll do whatever is necessary at this point.” Jonesy addressed a crowd of about 2 curious on-lookers during an impromptu press conference in the parking lot of a CVS pharmacy on Chicago’s West Side. Jonesy’s rhetoric is nothing new. For months, his saber rattling has been a common occurrence, mostly contained to the occasional email in the middle of the night.

Wayne stopped to chat with reporters Friday night on his way to make an appearance at a local Uptown gyro stand. “Jonesy’s an idiot. He clearly stopped taking his medication(s) again. We go through this every few months or so. Last time, he threatened me with economic sanctions. Whatever the f*ck that means.”